The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
This podcast focuses on surviving life after a suicide loss, an experience that can be devastating and leave you feeling lost as you try to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart. The host, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, lost her 21-year-old son, Alex, to suicide on August 7, 2016, and brings (& often shares) her insights from her personal journey.
In each episode, Melissa engages in honest and challenging conversations with other survivors of loss, healers, and mental health experts. She also produces shorter solo episodes where she reflects on her own thoughts and experiences thus far. The podcast covers a wide range of relevant topics and addresses difficult questions. Melissa explores all aspects of grief, including trauma, hope, healing, self-care, legacy, and stigma. She believes that we learn to live alongside our grief rather than get ing over it. Actual change comes through authentic, meaningful connections and mindful choices.
For supporters or educators, these conversations provide valuable insights and shine a light on suicide and grief genuinely and unapologetically. Listeners who are grieving a suicide loss can find comfort in the community and hope for a better tomorrow. Melissa aims to help others, like herself, transition from merely surviving to discovering a life filled with meaning and, potentially, even happiness amid the leftover pieces around you.
[Please NOTE: This podcast is for only relational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It candidly and openly discusses sensitive and sometimes activating topics. There will be no in-depth or graphic descriptions of the method, but merely the possible mention of suicide, murder, rape, and the like. Be guided and care for yourself accordingly. Also, Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing on this podcast should be taken in place of, or as, medical/mental health advice or recommendations.]
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
Relationships After Suicide Loss; Is Implicit Bias Involved?
Today I go “down the rabbit hole” to talk about a topic that’s completely interwoven with suicide itself - it’s tied to & a part of the same stigma that may have contributed to the suicide of our loved one in the first place. Implicit bias is most commonly thought of and discussed when having to do with obvious stigmas (aka stereotypes) like race, age, sexuality, ability, etc BUT it also applies to mental health and especially to the sudden death by suicide. Let me tell you how.
In this episode I talk about (& unravel my own thoughts on) :
- What is implicit (& explicit) bias
- Why does it matter & why does it occur
- My story about how it changed one of my primary relationships forever - secondary loss can (& often does) happen
- What can we do about it? Why should we?
There is so much that is said - and even what's NOT said - after suicide loss that is both toxic and further traumatizing to the grievers left behind. I believe that choosing to meet these things head-on, with others but also with ourselves, is the way through to healing. Not forgetting, but healing. Please don't mix those two up - we will never forget our loved ones but in order to move forward and bring them with us, we have to heal.
Here’s the article I talked about that highlights one suicide loss widow’s loss story & her work (her artwork) to break down the shame & stigma. I found much inspiration in Marlie Howell’s story.
And HERE are a few links (as i promised in the episode) of places you can get involved - be active - and help erase stigmas and combat the implicit biases by appealing to where they live in us;
- AFSP's Demand More for Mental Health Movement
- Active Minds
- The Trevor Project
- Everytown for Gun Safety Survivor Network
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available and much more will be coming in 2022 and 2023 "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You"
Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support
My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
The National Suicide Lifeline is there for you OR CALL 988
IN a crisis you can also TEXT--->
TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258