The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
You have found a podcast about surviving life after a suicide loss, which is nothing short of devastating, leaving you not knowing how to begin picking up the leftover pieces of your shattered heart. The host, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, who lost her 21-year-old son Alex to suicide on August 7, 2016, speaks to this from her own experiences. You will hear her have honest, hard conversations with other loss survivors, healers, and mental health experts on the podcast. She also produces shorter, solo episodes where she shares her own thoughts & experiences in this journey (thus far). She explores relevant topics and asks the hard questions. Nothing is 'off limit' as she delves into all areas of this grief, such as trauma, hope, healing, self-care, legacy & stigma. Melissa believes we learn to live alongside our grief, not get over it. We can make a difference only through authentic, meaningful connections and mindful choices. For a supporter or educator, these conversations hold nuggets of awareness and shine a spotlight on suicide and grief honestly and unapologetically. As a suicide loss griever, one can find the comfort of a community and hope for a little brighter tomorrow. Melissa wants to help others, like herself, go from surviving to finding a life with meaning, maybe even happiness, amid their own leftover pieces.
[Please NOTE: This podcast is for only relational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It candidly and openly discusses sensitive and sometimes activating topics. There will be no in-depth or graphic descriptions of the method, but merely the possible mention of suicide, murder, rape, and the like. Be guided and care for yourself accordingly. Also, Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing on this podcast should be taken in place of, or as, medical/mental health advice or recommendations.]
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
Men Grieve Too; A Dad Talks about the Suicide Loss of his Son
Today I speak with a dad who lost his son to suicide. Michael Hicks knows that dads grieve too but they do not talk about it nearly as much as moms. Michael shares his story, and his feelings, to help break that norm and alleviate the stigma around men and showing their emotions. If we are going to see a real change in how men approach mental health and a correlating decrease in men ending their own lives, we have to have these conversations. We have to have brave vulnerability as Mike shows in telling his story. This is a very powerful episode.
Find Michael (along with Jolee and Sienna) at HicksStrong HERE
Meet my challenge by DONATING HERE to help Soldiers get the help they need
Here is a write-up he shared with me about Macoy that I think should be shared -
US NAVY ABH AN Macoy Austin Daniel Hicks
Aviation Boatswain Mate Airman Macoy Hicks joined the Navy upon graduating from High School in 2017. His first duty assignment after basic training was to Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling, Washington, D.C. to the prestigious Naval Ceremonial Guard. It was a significant honor for Macoy to be selected for training with the Ceremonial Guard whose primary mission is to represent the service in Presidential, Joint Armed Forces, Navy, and other public ceremonies in and around the nation's capital. Among its most solemn duties is to provide honor guards for naval funerals at Arlington National Cemetery.
Thousands of funerals are held every year at Arlington, with between 30 to 40 funerals a day during the week and 6 to 8 on weekends. Military funeral guards are referred to as "missions" to help the guard detach emotionally. But many cannot detach as was the case for Macoy, who was haunted by the repeated sorrow he witnessed. He was later transferred to the USS Nimitz but his PTSD combined with a traumatic brain injury, followed by personality changes, insomnia, depression, and fruitless visits to Navy mental health providers, left him feeling like nobody in the sea service cared about him.
On February 11, 2019, Macoy Hicks died by suicide while in naval custody. He was twenty years old. To honor their son and brother and to ensure that military service personnel and families have greater access to mental health providers the Hicks family created the non-profit HicksStong Inc. The organization provides funding for active-duty military service personnel and veterans who wish to be linked with qualified and confidential therapists. Speaking on behalf of her family, Macoy's sister, Sienna states "I believe he is proud of us... Macoy's suffering will not be in vain; even after the abrupt end of his own, he is saving lives."
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" support central - MY HUB - and that means my different SUPPORT GROUP Options are available. Go DIRECTLY to my SUPPORT page here where you will find ALL of the ways to connect and find support. My first two books (tools I am creating for you!) in the "Facing Life After Suicide" series are available on Amazon
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988
OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA
in Canada TEXT 686868
in the UK TEXT 85258