The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
You have found a podcast about surviving life after a suicide loss, which is nothing short of devastating, leaving you not knowing how to begin picking up the leftover pieces of your shattered heart. The host, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, who lost her 21-year-old son Alex to suicide on August 7, 2016, speaks to this from her own experiences. You will hear her have honest, hard conversations with other loss survivors, healers, and mental health experts on the podcast. She also produces shorter, solo episodes where she shares her own thoughts & experiences in this journey (thus far). She explores relevant topics and asks the hard questions. Nothing is 'off limit' as she delves into all areas of this grief, such as trauma, hope, healing, self-care, legacy & stigma. Melissa believes we learn to live alongside our grief, not get over it. We can make a difference only through authentic, meaningful connections and mindful choices. For a supporter or educator, these conversations hold nuggets of awareness and shine a spotlight on suicide and grief honestly and unapologetically. As a suicide loss griever, one can find the comfort of a community and hope for a little brighter tomorrow. Melissa wants to help others, like herself, go from surviving to finding a life with meaning, maybe even happiness, amid their own leftover pieces.
[Please NOTE: This podcast is for only relational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It candidly and openly discusses sensitive and sometimes activating topics. There will be no in-depth or graphic descriptions of the method, but merely the possible mention of suicide, murder, rape, and the like. Be guided and care for yourself accordingly. Also, Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing on this podcast should be taken in place of, or as, medical/mental health advice or recommendations.]
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
Mindsets, Motivation & Monkeys" Pt 3; I'll Get You My Pretty...
Today is MONKEYS DAY, where I'm returning to the rabbit hole to discuss the third (& final) piece in my current series, "Mindset, Motivation & Monkeys."
So now you have your mindset (or at least know what you would like it to be; goals are a first step), you have picked your guidance word of the year, and you have discovered your motivation. So what now?
In this episode, I discuss MONKEYS! Ok, as you may have guessed, not actual monkeys (flying or otherwise) but rather boundaries! (aka - 'not my circus, not my monkeys')
Setting boundaries after loss is much more complicated than before, like everything, right? But for many of us, there are hurdles we can't overcome after the mindset and motivation part, and then we end up feeling stuck. Today, I discuss this at length to give you some actionable ideas that may help.
In this episode, hear me discuss:
- the myth that boundaries are there to stop us
- The next step - how to start
- Recognizing your monkeys - name them
- Defining them
- Enforcing them
- Real grief examples and more...
In the end, we are truly only limited by what we believe, and we have a choice in what we think and choose to believe. Our possibilities for life 'after' loss are only limited by our own mind. Yep, there's a LOT in those two sentences. Read them again. (And I know it's extraordinarily hard, but we can do hard things!)
Some BONUS follow Up READING - just food for thought & for fun:
A Person Without Boundaries ... (a post from The Daily Stoic)
Setting Healthy Grief Boundaries (an easy read about a difficult thing!)
THANK YOU for listening to this episode. It means so much to me!
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.
PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 is under way BUT you can get on the wait list for the August 7 group NOW!!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988 OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA