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The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
This podcast focuses on surviving life after a suicide loss, an experience that can be devastating and leave you feeling lost as you try to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart. The host, Melissa Bottorff-Arey, lost her 21-year-old son, Alex, to suicide on August 7, 2016, and brings (& often shares) her insights from her personal journey.
In each episode, Melissa engages in honest and challenging conversations with other survivors of loss, healers, and mental health experts. She also produces shorter solo episodes where she reflects on her own thoughts and experiences thus far. The podcast covers a wide range of relevant topics and addresses difficult questions. Melissa explores all aspects of grief, including trauma, hope, healing, self-care, legacy, and stigma. She believes that we learn to live alongside our grief rather than getting over it. Actual change comes through authentic, meaningful connections and mindful choices.
For supporters or educators, these conversations provide valuable insights and shine a light on suicide and grief genuinely and unapologetically. Listeners who are grieving a suicide loss can find comfort in the community and hope for a better tomorrow. Melissa aims to help others, like herself, transition from merely surviving to discovering a life filled with meaning and, potentially, even happiness amid the leftover pieces around you. You can always schedule a time to chat about being a guest from my main website.
[Please NOTE: This podcast is for only relational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It candidly and openly discusses sensitive and sometimes activating topics. There will be no in-depth or graphic descriptions of the method, but merely the possible mention of suicide, murder, rape, and the like. Be guided and care for yourself accordingly. Also, Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing on this podcast should be taken in place of, or as, medical/mental health advice or recommendations.]
The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations
Digital Echoes, Human Hearts; Turning Loss into Legacy
On day one of Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, we explore how postvention becomes prevention—through families who consent to share a loved one’s device so the Black Box Project can detect real-world patterns that help save lives.
Kim Burditt Bartlett, MSW — She is a suicide loss sibling and Senior Manager of Family Engagement for Stop Soldier Suicide’s Black Box Project. She creates trauma-informed resources and co-founded Sibling Strong Retreats.
What is the Black Box Project is (plainly):
A research and care initiative at Stop Soldier Suicide that, with family consent, analyzes data from devices of people who died by suicide to identify behavioral patterns and risk signals. Those insights are used to build models and interventions that reach others sooner. The project recently released its first findings (“The White Letter" - just released Aug 2025)
Want to consider sending your loved one's device?
REACH KIM DIRECTLY HERE kim.burditt@stopsoldiersuicide.org
or at Direct phone: 919-275-0045
Why this matters today:
- Postvention isn’t just legacy; done right, it directly informs intervention and prevention.
- Families are not just “donors of data”—they’re co-authors of new pathways to care.
- September is noisy; this is signal.
In this episode we cover:
- Kim’s brother Jon, and the path from personal loss to system-level change.
- How families are engaged, consent is handled, and what “dignity-first” looks like in practice.
- What the first findings suggest about detectable shifts before a death—and the limits of what data can and can’t say.
- The core thesis: postvention → pattern → earlier intervention → prevention.
- Practical ways civilians (not just military families) can learn, share, or contribute to this work.
Resources & links mentioned (or omitted):
- Stop Soldier Suicide — Black Box Project overview (learn, participate, or donate a device): [stopsoldiersuicide.org/blackboxproject]
Stop Soldier Suicide/Black Box Project - Sibling grief: unique burdens, overlooked needs, and why peer connection matters --Sibling Strong Retreats (Kim’s work for bereaved siblings). Sibling
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💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts.
🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement.
🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope.
🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here.
🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here.
📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.