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The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Suicide loss changes everything. This show is about life after suicide—real talk and practical support for grief after suicide: parents, partners, siblings, and friends finding their footing again. Each week, we explore what helps in suicide bereavement so you can keep going with honesty and hope.
Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son, Alex, died by suicide in 2016, the podcast blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health experts with short solo “Daily Nugget” episodes you can actually use. We cover child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that make life livable again. You’ll hear grounded tools, language that honors your person, and the reminder that you are not broken—you are grieving.
For supporters and educators, these episodes offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support looks like. If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest via my website. 💜
Content Note
This podcast speaks candidly about difficult experiences and may feel activating. We avoid method details and graphic description. Please care for yourself as needed. I’m not a doctor or licensed therapist; nothing here is medical or mental-health advice.
The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Life After Suicide Loss: “Firsts” Done Differently—Opt Out • Scale Down • Re-Script
Big days don’t require big performances; choose your size—opt out, scale down, or re-script—to protect your energy in suicide bereavement.
Journal prompt: “For my next tender date, I’ll protect my energy by… (opt out / scale down / re-script) because…”
What “choose your size” means (so we’re clear):
You get to set the size of participation to match your capacity.
- Opt out = skip entirely this year. Example: don’t attend the gathering; plan a quiet walk + candle at home instead.
- Scale down = attend smaller/shorter/softer. Example: 20 minutes max, sit near an exit, sunglasses/earbuds, two people only.
- Re-script = change the who/when/where/ritual. Example: breakfast instead of evening, meet outdoors, write a note to them and leave early with an ally.
Pair your choice with one ally, one exit signal, and one regulation (long exhale, step outside). Permission beats pressure.
A Flicker (Hope) — Choice lowers dread
Naming your option ahead of time softens the day. Relief is data—keep it.
To Rebuild (Healing) — Pick one path
Opt out: “Not this year.”
Scale down: “Shorter, quieter, fewer people.”
Re-script: “Different place, different time, different ritual.”
Take a Step (Becoming) — Make it specific
Write one sentence: “On [date] I will [opt out/scale down/re-script] by [what].” Add an ally + exit cue: “[Name] will text me at [time]; I’ll leave when I squeeze their hand.”
Choose-your-energy menu:
- Hollow (low): Hollow — Choose your path and jot it in notes. One line.
- Healing (medium): Healing — Set one logistics step (time/location/message) and a regulation plan.
- Becoming (higher): Becoming — Invite a helper/witness and send the plan today.
Food for Thought Today:
Honoring the day doesn’t mean reenacting pain. Permission is protective: you’re allowed to design something your body can survive—and even, gently, feel held inside. Capacity changes; your choices can, too.
Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜
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💜 The Leftover Pieces is support central for grieving hearts.
🔗 Stay connected: Join my free email community for weekly check-ins, resources, and encouragement.
🌟 For moms: Explore the $9 Lighthouse Community — safe connection, tools, and hope.
🛠 Resources for all grievers: Start here.
🤝 One-on-one grief coaching for moms after child loss to suicide: Learn more here.
📞 Need help now? If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 in the U.S. & Canada, or text HOME to 741741.