Grief Support After Suicide: A Rough-Day Plan with a Flicker, a Brick, a Step

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TODAY -- No heroics required. A window of light, a seven-minute finish, and a two-sentence check-in can turn a spinning day into a survivable one. 

Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from this month is…”

Your Personal Flicker–Brick–Step Plan (Rough-Day Ready)
On the days when suicide loss surges—the date you didn’t mean to remember, the song that blindsides you, the blame-loop at 2 a.m.—you don’t need pep. You need a plan that can meet the wave.

Rough days deserve a plan you can run on muscle memory. Start with a flicker that honors your grief, not erases it: stand by a window, touch their bracelet or photo, say their name and yours. Let that cue your rebuild—one small brick that steadies a body carrying trauma: a 7-minute shower; light a candle and breathe a longer exhale; clear the memorial corner’s surface so it feels gentler to approach; text one survivor-friend “no fixing—just witness?” Then take a step that carries them forward with you: add one line to your witness log about a memory; schedule the support group link for tonight; send a two-sentence check-in to another bereaved parent. This isn’t moving on. It’s moving with.

Choose-your-energy menu:

• Hollow (low): Stand by a window holding their item (or hand on heart). Say, “I miss you, and I’m breathing.” Five long exhales. If tears come, that’s capacity doing its job; you’re done for today.
• Healing (medium): Do the flicker and one 7–10 minute brick aimed at activation (shower; clear one square; light candle + 3 rounds of 3-3-6 breath). When the timer dings, stop. Drink a full glass of water.
• Becoming (higher): Run all three: flicker → brick → step that carries forward (add a memory line, send the group RSVP, message a survivor ally for a 10-minute call). Save a pinned note titled “Rough-Day Plan: name • candle • 7-min shower • text Jess.”

As we end today:
Pre-deciding isn’t performative strength; it’s trauma care. A grief-true plan—speak their name, regulate your body, take one carrying-forward step—cuts through shame and gives the wave somewhere to go. Keep the structure, flex the pieces. On the worst days, being held by three simple moves is courage.

Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜