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The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Suicide loss changes everything. The Leftover Pieces® Podcast explores life after suicide through honest conversations with survivors, experts, and grieving parents learning to live forward after unimaginable loss. Parents, partners, siblings, and friends share what it means to keep living when the world has been forever changed.
Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son Alex died by suicide in 2016, the show blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health professionals with short solo reflections you can actually use. Together we explore child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that help make life livable again.
At its heart, this podcast is about learning to live forward after loss. We never move on from the people we love, but we can learn to carry the grief differently. This road can feel incredibly lonely—but you are not alone here.
For supporters, educators, and professionals, these conversations also offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support can look like.
If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest through Melissa’s website.
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Content Note
This podcast speaks candidly about grief and suicide loss and may feel activating for some listeners. We avoid graphic descriptions and discussion of suicide methods. Please care for yourself as needed. Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing shared here should be considered medical or mental-health advice.
The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Grief Support After Suicide: A Rough-Day Plan with a Flicker, a Brick, a Step
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TODAY -- No heroics required. A window of light, a seven-minute finish, and a two-sentence check-in can turn a spinning day into a survivable one.
Journal prompt: “What I’m keeping from this month is…”
Your Personal Flicker–Brick–Step Plan (Rough-Day Ready)
On the days when suicide loss surges—the date you didn’t mean to remember, the song that blindsides you, the blame-loop at 2 a.m.—you don’t need pep. You need a plan that can meet the wave.
Rough days deserve a plan you can run on muscle memory. Start with a flicker that honors your grief, not erases it: stand by a window, touch their bracelet or photo, say their name and yours. Let that cue your rebuild—one small brick that steadies a body carrying trauma: a 7-minute shower; light a candle and breathe a longer exhale; clear the memorial corner’s surface so it feels gentler to approach; text one survivor-friend “no fixing—just witness?” Then take a step that carries them forward with you: add one line to your witness log about a memory; schedule the support group link for tonight; send a two-sentence check-in to another bereaved parent. This isn’t moving on. It’s moving with.
Choose-your-energy menu:
- Hollow (low): Stand by a window holding their item (or hand on heart). Say, “I miss you, and I’m breathing.” Five long exhales. If tears come, that’s capacity doing its job; you’re done for today.
- Healing (medium): Do the flicker and one 7–10 minute brick aimed at activation (shower; clear one square; light candle + 3 rounds of 3-3-6 breath). When the timer dings, stop. Drink a full glass of water.
- Becoming (higher): Run all three: flicker → brick → step that carries forward (add a memory line, send the group RSVP, message a survivor ally for a 10-minute call). Save a pinned note titled “Rough-Day Plan: name • candle • 7-min shower • text Jess.”
As we end today:
Pre-deciding isn’t performative strength; it’s trauma care. A grief-true plan—speak their name, regulate your body, take one carrying-forward step—cuts through shame and gives the wave somewhere to go. Keep the structure, flex the pieces. On the worst days, being held by three simple moves is courage.
Exhale. Keep what serves you; leave the rest. I’ll be here again tomorrow. 💜
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💜 The Leftover Pieces is support for life after suicide loss. Click links below
🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail
🔗 Stay connected: Join my email community for weekly support, resources, and honest conversations.
🛠 Start here: Explore website for suicide loss resources for early grief, family support, and next steps.
🤝 For moms: One-on-one grief coaching for mothers navigating life after child loss.
📞 Need support right now? If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada), or text HOME to 741741.