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The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
Suicide loss changes everything. The Leftover Pieces® Podcast explores life after suicide through honest conversations with survivors, experts, and grieving parents learning to live forward after unimaginable loss. Parents, partners, siblings, and friends share what it means to keep living when the world has been forever changed.
Hosted by Melissa Bottorff-Arey, whose 21-year-old son Alex died by suicide in 2016, the show blends intimate conversations with survivors, healers, and mental health professionals with short solo reflections you can actually use. Together we explore child loss, trauma and nervous-system care, anniversaries and seasons, stigma, faith and meaning, legacy, and the everyday practices that help make life livable again.
At its heart, this podcast is about learning to live forward after loss. We never move on from the people we love, but we can learn to carry the grief differently. This road can feel incredibly lonely—but you are not alone here.
For supporters, educators, and professionals, these conversations also offer insight into the realities of suicide grief and what genuine, non-fixing support can look like.
If you’d like to share your story or expertise, you can request to be a guest through Melissa’s website.
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Content Note
This podcast speaks candidly about grief and suicide loss and may feel activating for some listeners. We avoid graphic descriptions and discussion of suicide methods. Please care for yourself as needed. Melissa is not a doctor or licensed therapist, and nothing shared here should be considered medical or mental-health advice.
The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations
And the House Held Its Breath:’Twas a Christmas Eve Rebuilding
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A daily December series offering tender, truthful support for surviving the holidays after suicide loss — with grief, grace, and gentle company.
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This is December 24 — Welcome, Fellow Griever
For Christmas Eve, today’s Daily Nugget is a little different.
Instead of a longer reflection, Melissa shares a grief-tender reimagining of a familiar holiday reading — written to hold memory, absence, love, and quiet endurance.
And the House Held Its Breath- ’Twas a Christmas Eve Rebuilding
by Melissa Bottorff-Arey
’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through our spaces,
Our houses hold breath with slower, softer paces.
Not everything sparkles, not everything shines.
Some traditions rest, some moments keep time.
The stockings weren’t placed the way they once were.
Some memories still tender, some feelings astir.
We didn’t fix everything, and we didn’t pretend.
We noticed what’s missing — what there’s no way to mend.
The lights felt too bright, or perhaps not enough.
The songs hit a nerve, where the love meets the loss.
We whisper their names in quiet in-betweens,
What once was our normal, and what now isn’t seen.
Somewhere a laugh lingers, familiar, alive,
In the warmth of the kitchen, the joy that survived.
Not the joy we went looking for, not something we planned,
But a moment that found us, and then held our hand.
There’s no magic tonight that makes sorrow depart,
No sleigh that can mend a broke-open heart.
And yet in the stillness, something remains:
The love we keep carrying through the truth and the pain.
So here on this evening, I offer no false cheer —
Just a place for longing, the memories, the tears.
And maybe a breath. And maybe a pause.
And permission to hold it — with or without a 'Claus(e)'
Christmas Eve — A Daily Journal Prompt:
“What feels most present for me tonight — and what would it mean to let that be enough?”
Stay Connected
If you’re a mom navigating grief and longing for steady, compassionate support, the Lighthouse Community is a gentle place to land.
The first month is always free — no pressure, no obligation.
You’re welcome exactly as you are.
Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to Melissa
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The Leftover Pieces is Support for Life After Suicide Loss. Click links below
🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail
Support After Suicide Loss
If you are grieving after suicide loss, you do not have to carry this alone.
Visit The Leftover Pieces for podcast episodes, grief support, resources, and ways to connect with Melissa’s work: https://theleftoverpieces.com
or Join Melissa’s email list: https://theleftoverpieces.com/join
If you someone you love is in immediate crisis or may be in danger, please call or text 988 in the United States. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line